I am excited to enter my 30s! As I enjoy my last week as a 29-year-old, it’s only natural to reflect on the past decade and some of the lessons I have learned. I look at the 20s as the trial-and-error decade; it’s where you make mistakes but learn from them (hopefully). It is where you finally evolve into who you are as a person, work towards building the foundation so that you can thrive in your 30s. I am genuinely an optimistic person, but I am also realistic. Growing into an independent and confident woman took a lot of self-work and awareness. It took a lot of moments of disappointment and anxiousness, but also perseverance and drive to know it will all work out. I am proud of the woman I am and still becoming. Here are five lessons I learned in my 20s.
You need to become comfortable putting yourself in positions to create opportunities.
This is something that I struggled with, especially in my early 20s. I tend to be a bit shy and reserved by nature; I was not always the one to raise my hand right away, even if I knew the answer. I realized that the only person this was affecting was me, especially if I wanted to grow in my career. The fact is, no one can advocate for you if you do not speak up or show up. I was always a hard worker and would give it my all to whatever role I was in or project I was working on, but I learned quickly that if you do not put yourself in a position to create opportunity, you will always be passed over. I learned that you could not assume that your manager would promote you because you did great; the fact is, they need to know you want it. Learning how to become more assertive did not happen overnight. This became a muscle I needed to learn to flex, and still to this day, I actively work on it.
By taking the risk to speak up for what I want, I slowly but steadily moved up in my position. When I felt like I had reached a point where I was ready for growth, I moved on. In terms of my social media, I have had the pleasure of becoming connected with so many amazing women (and men) who are supportive. That would not have been the case if I had remained too anxious to go out and meet new people at events.
In order to create opportunity, you must be open to it.
Start understanding finances and become financially literate.
The earlier you start understanding finances, the better off you will be as you grow older, not only for retirement but for overall enjoyment of life. Time is money, as they say, and it is true because of compounding. Making sure you establish a healthy relationship with money is so important for setting yourself up for success, especially in this time when costs keep rising and wages aren’t.
I think we know the saying, “money solves money problems.” I think I would rather have 99 other problems, but money is not one of them. I taught myself everything I know about finances by seeking the knowledge. There are so many great books and resources to help you understand savings, debt, and the stock market, but they only work if you do. I made some money mistakes in my 20s, as all young people do at some point, but it is the realization and active work towards turning it around that matters. Get your head start today; it will only cost you more in the future.
One book I recommend is I Will Teach You to Be Rich by Ramit Sethi.
Who you choose to spend your time with is important.
Time is your most valuable currency, and with that knowledge, I really leaned into having quality relationships. We do not inherently see it when we are young, but as we are building the life we want, especially when we are ambitious, it matters who we are surrounded by. I think the hardest part of evolving is knowing that not everyone in your circle will remain there. Friendships change and evolve as we mature, and that is okay. It is important to recognize who we want to be surrounded by because they are the ones who will rally with you or against you. It needs to be mutual. This goes for relationships as well, when you find a partner who can grow with you and you with them, that is when it is worth your while.
As hard as it sounds, try not to fight or force a relationship or friendship that does not align with who you are becoming.
There is no need to rush. What is meant for you will always happen at the right time.
We live in a culture where we need to be satiated right away. This is in part due to watching people on socials show off their new car, new house, fancy job, new relationship, etc, and it is so easy to get caught in it, wondering “why not me?” Being in your 20s is weird. You are competing to secure a job after college, trying to save up to afford a home, maybe some of your peers are getting married and starting families, and the inevitable thought creeps in: I am behind, or I am not succeeding.
Once I began to ignore the noise, stop feeling sorry for myself, and focus on what I can control, that’s when everything started lining up for me. During COVID in 2020, I decided to apply to business school. I moved up in my position and started with new companies, and I met my husband unexpectedly. I truly believe that your timeline is yours only, and there is no right or wrong time to do or start something. The pieces to the puzzle will align.
Always be curious and never stop trying to learn something new.
There is so much you can learn in this lifetime. Remaining curious and willing to learn will always be for your benefit. Whether you take online classes on a new subject, learn a new language, or play chess via the Duolingo App. The ability to learn new information is endless. Keep developing your skills for work or simply learn how to knit or sew. There is satisfaction in gaining new knowledge.