The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins took the internet by storm this year. It was one of those topics that you think would seem pretty straightforward, but turned out to have a lot of opposing opinions. If you have read The Let Them Theory, then you know what I am talking about. If you have not yet, then hopefully this post will inspire you to do so soon. I want to share with you my honest thoughts and how I have applied this theory to my life this year.
The ideas within the book are nothing new or remotely revolutionary, but it was a reminder that was much needed and well-received by me. I do not want to spoil it if you have not read it. Still, the gist of the book is that there will always be external factors around us that we might not perceive as favorable. In turn, it causes us to have feelings of constant frustration, anger, helplessness, anxiety, and the list goes on. These experiences are not exclusive to home; they can be faced at work or with friends. Essentially, the goal is to not allow those external factors to derail your day, affect your mood, or alter your relationships. In the end, it is realizing you have the power to make a decision on how something or someone will affect you, and then allowing yourself to move on in a way that is beneficial to you. You cannot control the uncontrollable, and you certainly cannot change how someone proceeds with their day-to-day, especially when you do not agree.
This is not to say sit on the sidelines and ignore all situations. There are obvious times when an intervention is needed or a situation is not safe to be in. Use your discretion and awareness in those times, please.
I am human and in no way, shape, or form perfect. Situations get to me, people get to me, and for a while, I noticed that I harbored a lot of emotions that I think were damaging… but it seemed only to me. While reading this book, I was able to see how I was trying to take over a narrative that was not mine. I had to sit back and reflect, and this is where all components of emotional intelligence come in. You need to have self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills to put this theory into practice.
How has The Let Them Theory changed my life?
Simply put, I actively assessed what was bothering me and causing me to feel dissatisfied, angry, or alter my outlook on any given day. I slowly started to release my emotional attachment to those situations and began to apply the let me portion. I took back the power I was giving and turned it inward. I began to focus on my projects more, or move onto anything that would be a better use of my time. I would begin to tell people I am in my “let them” era, and with that, a sense of peace would flow over me. It might sound weird, but I really have been unbothered, so to speak, and it really is freeing, rather a cathartic experience.
Overall, I can say I am happier, I am freer, I am aware, but less inclined to react. I am not going to keep giving away my power to situations that do not deserve it.
This book has also allowed me to have meaningful conversations with my friends and even my Mom. I hope that you get a chance to read this, and if not, maybe just look into it. Truly, nothing works until you apply the lessons. It is something that you have to consciously and actively work towards. Maybe 2026 will be your year to Let Them!
Shop This Post